after almost two months, the feelings of grief (and confusion and anger and guilt) still haven’t really subsided, but i want to believe that i’ve slipped back into some semblance of normal life. flying three thousand miles away from home does that to you.

of course, i will never ever be completely alright. it’s stupid to think that a few weeks of trying to forget actually does a damn thing. i am so sick and tired of people telling me that a little time heals everything, and that i’ll be happy again when December rolls around. i know for a fact that every single heartbreak i’ve ever experienced is still firmly etched into my being. you may not always notice them but that doesn’t mean that they’ve gone away. everyone deals with loss at their own pace. how could anyone even think about placing this horrible time constraint on them?

i’m so sorry that this had to be such a terribly depressing post. i did want to blog about something happier, but nothing really comes to mind. it probably isn’t a surprise that i stopped writing for a bit because it seemed quite pointless to do so during the last month.

just a few things off the top of my head then. i know i got this award from the always wonderful Abs of fact not fiction (thank you!) which means that i’m supposed to choose one of five blogging options. i read through them and still haven’t quite decided which one i’m doing. getting drunk does sound appealing though, but i’m a bit afraid that whatever i type will come out completely illegible. oh well, at least i have something to think about now.

also, i have just started incorporating scarves into my daily outfits because i had a few lying around. this led to the discovery that i am the worst when it comes to tying knots and trying to wrap the whole thing delicately around my neck without strangling myself.

oh, funny story. i was sitting in the train last night and this drunk man walked up to me. he started shouting about how beautiful i was and how he would love to get to know me, so i pretended i was deaf [sidenote: this probably wouldn’t have worked if he hadn’t been totally wasted because i realised five seconds later that my headphones were firmly attached to my ears for all to see] and he looked around for someone else to unload his spiel on. he spotted this blonde at the other end and started moving towards her, but she ran into another cabin. one of the security officers passed by at that moment and ended up escorting him off the train. good times, good times.

i really want some pasta right now. mushroom and cream with heaps of parmesan. and then i remember that i’m a whole half hour away from any restaurants and we’re not allowed to cook here. :C



and i cannot wait for the new pokemon game to come out. so excited. i love pokemon!