Skin The Colour of Wheat

you don't get it
you're not the one
who cries at night
at dawn
at the memories
of the waking up together
and cold toast with melted
now i've got barley for brains
and a penchant to stare
blankly at the spaces
filled with air
but where your body
used to be


Those Were The Days

The parents weren't happy with each other recently, so something snapped and they wouldn't talk to each other. My brother called me at college, frantic and vague, leading me to believe that the situation was much worse than it really was. In actual fact, the parents enjoy bickering, I think it keeps the romance alive, and do it almost every week. Sure enough, I worried my way through a discussion on Literature and dance practice, only to return home and find my mother vengefully planning her revenge. The next morning, it was the burnt eggs and cold tea that got her an apology. Idiots.

I think the weather and I have some kind of mutual understanding. I woke up today not wanting to go to college (like every other day) and the sky turned cloudy. Later on, I was really hungry between classes and so decided to grab a quick bite at the opposite diner. But the sky was dark and everyone was insisting that it was going to rain really soon. Still, I persevered and we reached the place before even a single drop fell. While we ate, the rain poured like mad, then when we were done, it had stopped, and we were able to walk back without getting wet.

Must exploit this power. Carefully.

Have made up my mind to get the pair of shoes that I left behind in Zara. They were so beautiful, I should never have listened to the brother nag about slippery soles and towering heels. Who needs walking when you can fall down in style? But then again, it is his money that's going to go towards getting me a new pair of shoes for college, so I suppose some convincing is in order. Or first rate begging, since he's as hardhearted as the parents. Still, it's a small price to pay for them. My preciousss...

I will be going on a short hiatus starting tomorrow, because mocks are super close (in two days) so I'm going to have to start studying eventually. I think I'm actually expected to get good grades, because Math results came back today, and in some miraculous fluke, I got the highest marks. And after that, my lecturer wouldn't stop hinting - 'umm... if you get good marks umm... you will keep it up i am sure... umm... D umm.... mocks are in a bit so umm... class dismissed...' Sigh. Priceless.

So this is to say goodbye for a bit, and have a great time!




your trail of nicotine
laced the air
and the shoes i wore
cheap tramp
they're just words

and i held your gaze in mine
trying to read
those eyes
clouded by the smoke
feelings left unguarded

words slurred into
a champagne filled glass
stay stay stay stay
drowned amongst the bubbles
you drank them down

who holds your hair back?
as you bend over
and those same words
stay stay stay stay
burst from you again

yes i know
you say it all the time
i could leave but
i've never known love
in any other way

but you


do you get it now?


it shows when you hurt inside
this will be the last time
i promise


The Girl In Byakkoya

so here's the joke
the one that kept me laughing
through the night
if tears were giggles
and sobs were smiles

'do you want to know something?'
'he thought you didn't care anymore.'
'he thought you were going to hurt him.'
'so he hurt you first.'
'isn't that funny?'


'well, not haha funny but,'
'shit, just forget what i said!'
'i... are you crying?'
it's just really funny
that's all

i cut my hair again
just so you know
i needed my head
to feel less heavy
the scissors were smooth
whispering to me

six inches
of black curtain
i can't watch you secretly anymore


Toe Touch

My mocks are in a while, and since I'm probably the most likely to fail all my subjects, I should get a head start on studying. Ugh gross... But I'm one of those people who hate anything to do with learning, yet want the A's that should come with effort. Yeah, disgusting, I know.

I really did have this whole post dreamed up in my head, so that before my upcoming hiatus, I would leave something amazing (read: remotely legible) here, and that for the whole of September, I wouldn't feel too guilty about abandoning my blog. Unfortunately, my amazing short term memory has left me grasping at words in the air. There's a 'sleep' and a 'pillow' flitting around my head. And 'food' seems to be beckoning from under my right foot. 'Eat' is under the left.

And oh wait, what's this? 'Differentiation'? 'Logarithms'? Oh, right. My Math book is screaming at me from the desk. Should I answer it? Umm no. I'm going to follow the words to my bed instead, my beautiful boat of dreams.


Pure Narcotic

The loud music resounding in my ears, the bright lights flashing red blue green how obscene. I moved my feet to the rhythm, or at least I tried, and I laughed happily. Not like me at all. Too risky. Awkward and foreign.

But you had my hand in yours, keeping me safe even while you twisted and I spun. And I didn't fall once, even on those slippery shiny floors that weren't really made for dancing at all. It was dark but I saw. I saw.

For the life of me, I can't remember what the song was. Why is that?


Glad Tidings

I'm quite the loser these days, I get back home from college, pig out while lying on the couch and watching the Olympics, then sleep the rest of the day away.

And was laughed at by the girls because the food stall operators in the eating place were so nice to me. First it was the iced tea a few weeks back, which I got for a cheaper price, plus it wasn't watered down like the others'. Then the last minute price cut on the frittata at the corner. And today it was the man who threw in extra sauce and tofu, then got me my cutlery from the pickup point. Which he apparently never does, according to AN who buys food from him all the time, as opposed to it having been my first.

Haha. Bitter.

That aside, I wish everyone would stop going all hot and bothered about exams because it makes me feel really stupid. I haven't been studying as much as I should have, so to hear about my classmates burning the midnight oil every single night is frightening, to say the least. Must let this be a lesson to myself. Less snoring, more boring. Haha. I'm not funny at all.

Mmm that reminds me, I'm very hungry. I'm seriously considering getting up from my bed and foraging for food in the kitchen. Mom said she's restocked the refrigerator so there might be something worthwhile to chew on (this feels like a pun!). Food banzai!


Xylophone Key

FC's going off soon, the idiot dropped out of college some time back and made me cry so much. She used to be my hangout buddy cause we had the same schedule, but now I'm stuck with J and the guys.

So yesterday was her birthday slash farewell party. And a few of us went, because she threatened us with bodily harm. It was quite fun. I was dragged onto the dance floor. AZ was dancing in front of me but J was holding my left hand and Y the right one, so I was uncertain as to whom I was actually supposed to be partnered with.

I'm actually watching reruns of the Olympics right now. Weightlifting seems painful, but I'm very impressed at how these people lift more than twice their body weight. I am considering buying a ticket to the next Olympics, which hopefully will be just as good, if not better, because the current games have left me speechless more than once.

Which is pretty amazing, if you stop to think about it. =D



I loved today. All that worrying and agonizing paid off. The jumble sale was a success, for the most part anyways, and I managed to get some random stuff sold off. Accessories. And I got us out of a Math exam, so... am I good or what? Hee although I don't actually know how much money we made, which means I'll have to find out on Monday.

It was also a huge fashion breakthrough for me, weirdly. I wore this short bright yellow dress with blue edgings, and this unicorn necklace. So when I walked into the lab to sell canned drinks, the first things I heard were 'OMG YELLOW! YELLOW SO YELLOW!' and 'D looks like a princess.' Not something you'd want to hear from the guys in my class, but hmm... And when I interrupted a Physics lesson to sell sandwiches, they took one look at me and my basket decked with orchids, then called me little flower for the rest of the day.

For the record, I rarely plan anything in advance, and this includes my outfits. And no, I did not mean to dress like a flower. I just ended up looking that way.

Which reminds me, AN and YN were telling me how much they liked one of my dresses?sweaters? It's greyish black apparently and really shiny and short. I can't seem to remember having anything like it but umm... I'm going to have a look, especially since they said I've only worn it once. Waste not, want not.


Cape Caper

blog readability test

This amuses me greatly. I don't think I use big words or anything like that, but it's always nice to have your current level of education flashed in front of you. See sir, I am not the child you keep calling me!



You don't leave your girlfriend for your ex-girlfriend. Not when the ex broke your heart and cheated on you with your own best friend. Not when you were this girl's first boyfriend. Not when you welcomed her into your group, your circle.

Did you see how she crumpled when you looked at the jewelery display, wondering out loud if you should buy that pendant? And she knew it wasn't for her.

Disgusting. You deserve each other, the both of you.